Gamblers Anonymous

Sue's Story
Sue : 16th May 2004

Compulsive Gambling is a progressive illness. For me it was a gradual transition from social gambling to becoming a
compulsive addiction.
When I was a young girl growing up, my father was a compulsive gambler and I knew what it was to go without and thought my Dad was a selfish man squandering everything. So in my late teens, I became very materialistic and judgmental, I was going to have something to show for my hard-earned money.

I got married and in my early 20's started going to the club with my husband and friends and playing poker machines. For years it wasn't a problem but then I started to get angry when I lost more money than we had intended. My husband didn't worry about it but each time we lost I had to get back as soon as possible and beat that machine. When I started to get depressed about the losses, I decided not to go any more and for a while this worked.

In my late 30's I got divorced and when my son spent the weekend at his Dad's, I treated myself to a night at the pokies. I had a good job, and was a responsible, in-control person but as I progressively became more addicted, everything else just became irrelevant. I loved going to the club, not for the social activity, but solely to sit in front of a poker machine and sink into oblivion. While I sat there pushing the buttons, nothing entered my head - no problems, just oblivion. The problems came when the money ran out and I had to drive home and fact life with all its ups and downs, but now I had another problem - no money.

Although money was the initial problem, the feeling of being out of control was terrifying. So I started to try to control my habit by limiting myself to $50 but that didn't work. Once I started pressing those buttons time and money didn't mean anything. Then I tried limiting by only going to the club for an hour, consequently I was always late because once I started I lost control of everything.

I got to the point - do I sell the car or the house or hope that I didn't' wake up in the morning. Friends had told me I needed help, but I had to reach my rock bottom before I reached out for help. Help for me was G.A. I remember my first meeting although I was nervous and a bit skeptical because I couldn't see how sitting in a room with a bunch of people talking about their problem was going to help me.

The thing I remember most was that these people understood what I was going through. It's like anything in life, if you haven't experienced the problem then you don't really understand it. There is no magic wand, but if you put the effort in, listen and learn then you begin to recover and take control of your life again. I gradually became a compulsive gambler, and I am gradually recovering - one day at a time.

I am very proud to say that I haven't touched a poker machine for over three years, and with the help of this program I intend to never gamble again.
Sue

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