Gamblers Anonymous

Bill's Story
Bill : 16th May 2004

My name is Bill and I am a compulsive gambler.

This story is how gambling has ruined the greater part of my adult life.
During the thirty years of hell the common factors that were always there are: LYING-CHEATING-STEALING-BORROWING MONEY-FRAUD-

I began gambling as a mid teenager, already at this tender age I had become deceitful, as I was engaged at a very young age, I had some success on the poker machines and when my friends said it would be great for my fiancée, I told them that was my punting money and no way was it for anyone else I became treasurer of the work punter’s club, about this time I was called up to the army and didn’t honour my debt to the punter’s club or money I had borrowed from friends, I didn’t realise at the time but this was doing my reputation a great deal of harm. When I was in the Army I accumulated debts with banks and family members to pay off my gambling debts, I had money allotted to these creditors from my Army pay, naturally my wife was unaware of this, it was then I began my lifelong career as a postman chaser. When my time to get out of the Army came I couldn’t because it would’ve given me up. My wife caught me on many occasions and each time I uttered my most common LIE- I WILL NEVER GAMBLE AGAIN, my life in the Army became one disaster after another, my illness was really moving into top gear, I used to feel sick with the thought of having no money to bet on the horses, the feeling of elation was unbelievable when I found some poor unfortunate person or organization to borrow from, I never repaid these debts at this time.

At about the same time I developed bad drinking habits and the two together were a time bomb waiting to go off. Whenever I borrowed off family or friends I always uttered I will never gamble again. I got discharged from the Army after nine years service, I stole all of my Army super money and gambled it on the races.

In civilian life my life had become slightly more manageable until I was promoted to manage a store at P_________, I became involved with a Greek club and learned to play cards as well as use the SP facilities, I sometimes would not come home at all. Naturally I accrued some huge debts and I deluded myself saying I would borrow some money from my company, in reality it was downright stealing, the inevitable happened and I was arrested and charged with stealing as a servant, in the 5 month period between arrest and court case I stole $50 from a car company and stole $200 from a real estate agent who I was working for. This was the first half of 1977, I attended GA at ___________, I am ashamed to admit it but I played lip service so I might get a good report for my upcoming trial, other strange behaviour was common at this time, I used to leave the GA meetings and go straight to the Greek Club, most of the night of my arrest was spent in ___________ watch house, while I was sitting there wallowing in self-pity I said to myself I will never gamble again, I went from jail to the gambling club, I used the money to pay the solicitor 5 days before my trial for gambling.
I would like to say at this stage I knew I had a gambling problem but didn’t want to do anything about it. My court case came and I didn’t go to jail, my parole officer said if I continued to gamble I would be up before the courts again, I said the normal I will never gamble again, the same day I was back in a pub drinking and gambling.
I used emotional blackmail with my wife blaming her for the prospect of me going to jail because she would not be party to obtaining a mortgage on our war service home and pay my debts, fortunately she didn’t agree to the mortgage. My marriage was destroyed, my parole officer allowed me to go to ______. The morning I left ________, my two daughters aged 7 and 5 waved goodbye and I broke down and wept like a baby, my brother was taking me to the airport and I told him I will never gamble again, by the end of that day I was gambling again. I was very sick.

My life rolled on for the next few years drinking and gambling, I moved to _________and went into my second marriage, it was almost a carbon copy of the first. I went to GA at __________ on my wife’s instruction and again played lip service, the same things were happening borrowing, cheating, stealing, lying. I appeared in _________ Court in November 1986 with the same charges as before.
It was around this time I went to see the second of three psychiatrists I visited in my life, I think it was a waste of time and money. Somehow or other I didn’t go to jail, my tale of gambling destruction continued and this marriage ended for the same reasons as the first. Some of the vivid memories of this time: I would believe that TABs would go broke on Saturday nights and had to have the money in my pocket that day. On the odd occasions I won I would lay awake working out which creditors I would pay, in reality I would pay none and gamble the lot, on winning occasions[which were rare] I would go somewhere private and recount the money over and over again, I was so much in the dreamworld that I wasn’t worried how much I owed my lotto ticket would win and all of my troubles would be over. I used to say to myself if I stopped gambling how would I get out of the strife I was in? I moved to _________ in January 1993 and moved in with a lady I was seeing at the time, I didn’t steal money from her, however, I was bludging off her for 5 months and betting and drinking as always. A job opportunity came up and the man was a former employer of mine, he had heard of gambling problems, I assured him I didn’t gamble anymore and I wouldn’t let him down, it took two months before I was borrowing from his company, and my future looked bleak, surprisingly he didn’t report it to the police and kept me on with a re-payment programme that was achievable.

GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS came into my life on the 7th September 1993, my last bet was on 2nd September 1993, I attended my first meeting at __________ and took on the programme with vigour and I was determined to have the illness arrested, I am eternally grateful to the members of that group and other groups for my recovery, I do have a future with my partner who took me in seven years ago, if not for GA I would be a bum on the street if not dead. The programme will work for those who WANT it to, life without gambling is a wonderful thing, I cannot speak highly enough about the people and the programme. I have not gambled since then. I would like to add I have repaid the debts that I have been able to. My life and attitude changed and it was not that long after I was promoted and for the first time I became a normal person and started to enjoy the wonderful things in life like people, birds, trees and flowers. I was living. I would like to add that I now have a wonderful and loving relationship with my two daughters, their husbands and our beautiful grand children, they know my story, however, they will receive a copy of this therapy.

I do know that should I choose to stop going to GA, it won’t be a matter of if I start gambling but when?? On the last Sunday of each month myself and two others from my group visit one of our members who is serving a long sentence for fraud, he is a great member and a wonderful man who unfortunately caught this dreadful disease we all suffer from, he attended our group for three years knowing what awaited him, those that are lucky enough to know him have the greatest respect and admiration for him.

I hope this therapy may be of some help to someone suffering this sickness, even as I end this I have thought of many more insane things I did as an active compulsive gambler.

Bill

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